Torn and alone girl!

I don't know what to do!!!!

So, I am am officially failing without hope cell and anatomy. Ok I've accepted that.
Last week and half I've studied my ass off for Botany exam which was Friday (20).
I went in there thinking I would ACE it...... guess what. I got a 62..... a 62 that's a D, what is WRONG with me. Why can't I get this stuff. I love biology but I am stupid or something. AHHH :'(

So besides that. This semester/year I had alot of friends....... and I've changed "groups" throughout my time at campbell. In fact I've done that through High School and now I'm doing it at college. why can't I keep friends. I mean I don't have fights or anything I just seem to drift away or something. So I mean, I know that the people still love and care about me for the most part...... but I seem to be distant. I mean I know if I call them they will be there for me...... but I don't hang out anymore. I eat dinners alone most of the time. I mean I have friends, jordan, stacie, darrena, miranda, josh, heidi, i mean people say hey to me and talk to me and everything.......... it just seems I don't "hang out" with anyone anymore. I don't "belong" anywhere. I feel very alone. but I know people love me and care about me, I just don't feel like I belong in a single group. and than summer is here soon and I don't even KNOW what is going to happen with that. I'm very very scared.

I feel like I've wasted a whole semester academically....... screwed myself OVER. than I mean i have someplace to live, but I don't really feel like I "belong" at home..... i don't have a room right now or bed and idk. Im just lost

Than my dreams today.. UHH confusing.

I am torn. do I get vunerable with him or not. IDK
I'm scared Im going to get hurt. I mean I can either take his hand and hold on and he can help me or I can say no and let go and drown. IDK. Should i even tell him about the dream. I mean he'll prob find a way to get me to tell him but I don't want to. AH AH AH.

I will see him tomorrow.......

Night. I'll update later