Life.... as of today

SO as of today........ Life is good. God is good. Classes...... well I'm behind. Friends are amazing. I'm feeling more pulled toward my photography.... and all together I am happy. I am at a friends suite tonight helping her. I pray to God that He comforts her...

Classes...... so much to do... I need to stay buckled DOWN and HARD on them you know? it's difficult. Sometimes I wish I was just a college student without any classes...... without the "college" part. lol just lived in the dorms...... had fun..... and yeah. but guess not.... I acually need an education. I do enjoy classes...... just all the studying..... I feel as if my life is going by so fast. I want to so bad just get through this semester...... AND I know I need good grades. I wish this was easier.... but I know it can't be. I want learning through osmosis.... that would be AWSOME. lol

My parents are still doing good. I miss them badley. I want to see my Dad and Mom and Sister. I don't think I'll go home until Feb 9th at this rate. My sister's 20th B-day.

Boys..... oh this boy. Kills me. I don't think me trying to AVOID him is working..... I keep seeing him..... everyday..... I mind...... than I don't :-D I wish I could just get over him and not like him. But I've given up. I'm just going to be friends with him, pretend I don't like him.... and hopefully find something wrong with him to make myself NOT like him you know? Acually I'm just giving up. Let God handel it.... He can control the situation much better than me..... in fact I don't even want control, I mess things up. lol. God knows...... He'll let me get hurt or protect me, or make me fall for him or show me WHY not to like him for something....... right?

I'll just keep praying, about classes, Life path..., boys, future husband/family, Parents/sister..., and friends. I don't know what else to do. Don't you wish you could just control things easier.

I realize that I've done stupid things. I found a note from my HS sophomore year..... from a really cute sweet boy whom I dated for a few short weeks and dumped because "that's just what I did" I remember likeing him........ but it had been a week over my limit *which was 2 weeks* and I had another "target". so I dumped him over Thanksgiving break. Uh I was stupid. Not that he was "the one" just like...... I have done stupid things.

I want to meet the man I am going to spend forever with. The man who will love me, every little bit of me. My flaws, my faults, my mood swings, and happiness and sadness and syco crazyness. LOL I want a Good Christian man. A man who had things in common with me. Likes nature, like to spend time camping or whatever. a man who puts God first in his life, a Man who isn't afraid to love me. I know I'm afraid. A man who can laugh at my stupid sillyness. when I do "blonde" things or when I can't deal with my own emotions he will just say. It's okay. When I am fustrated with my sins... he will comfort me. A man that can accept that I've made mistakes and love me for them. Someone who will be a gentalman, and just make me feel special. A honest. trustworthy, non-cheating man. A Christian.

That's not a "list" that's just what I want...... and it's not something you see on the outside.
I don't know... God knows who's right for me, He will match me up with my "one". I just hope he does before I graduate..... if that is His will. It may be I never marry.... and I spend eternity with God. That would be great to. I would still like a partner in flesh though. But I know God knows what I need, want, and don't need.
I give up my wants, needs, feelings, emotions to whatever His will is.

It's His. If He wants me to keep liking this boy... I guess I will.
Anyways It's late.
~In Christ's Love~
Melissa